Your Alcoholic Won’t Tell You This


Things seem to go along well for a while and then the alcohol.

Drinking becomes more important than anything else.

What exactly is going on with the alcoholic in your life?

So much has changed and you still love him!

It doesn’t matter how great things were when you first became involved with your alcoholic. Over time the emotional pain becomes almost too much to handle.

Whether intended or not, lies become part of everyday functioning for your alcoholic. You’re left on the short end of the deal.

You end up hurt over and over again. Why does it hurt so much?

Part of the reason is because of what you may not know about your alcoholic. He won’t tell you.

Alcohol’s The Other Woman

He’ll never tell you he’s in love with alcohol. Yes, it’s true the relationship between your alcohol is just like another woman.

It feels the same because it’s a betrayal of your relationship.

Time that belongs between just the two of you is devoted to alcohol.

The effort he puts in to make sure he has enough to use is a lot like when two people meet and they just can’t wait to be together.

Just watch next time he runs out of alcohol. See what lengths he’ll go just to make sure he has more to drink.

I’ve seen it so many times when an alcoholic will go over to someone’s house because they have FREE alcohol and they don’t even like the person.

Another point of similarity is how everything else takes second place to drinking.

Friends are chosen based on whether they drink. Social activities are selected based on availability of alcohol.

There’s nothing more important than alcohol to the alcoholic.

When you look inside, isn’t there a desire for him just to care about you as much as he does his booze?

Consequences Don’t Matter

I’ve seen alcoholics lie, steal and cheat to get what they want. Sometimes it’s under the influence and other times it’s not.

What matters here is he’ll never tell you to your face what he’s willing to do to keep on using.

You can see it in missed appointments, the risks taken while driving intoxicated and opportunities that have been missed because he was out of it.

Can’t Quit

All along he tells you he can quit any time he wants…he just doesn’t want to right now. He’ll quit when he wants to.

From a purely objective point of view. His physical dependence on alcohol makes the words meaningless. There comes a time when the withdrawal is uncomfortable.

It’s actually easier to continue using than to put up with the withdrawal symptoms. These can become very intense and even life threatening.

It’s easy to say he can quit. It’s a totally other thing to actually do it.

Some alcoholics do quit for periods of time but the problem is they most always come right back to it.

We know when an alcoholic returns to alcohol after a period of abstinence they pick up where they left off in progression of the illness.

Alcohol Causes Physical Harm

When your alcoholic drinks there is an anesthetic effect from the alcohol.

Signs that normally que you in to the possibility of a problem may be covered up often until it’s too late.

Some issues covered up are diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and even cancer.

You’re alcoholic is likely to take 15 years off their life expectancy by continued use.

What Can I Do?

There are things you can do about your alcoholic’s use. Here are a few:

    1. Limit access to money

This can be as simple as direct deposit into an account and he has no debit card.

He gets an allowance for the week and that’s it.

    1. Set up a physical for your alcoholic

Before the actual physical be sure and have a conversation with the doctor to let him know of the out of control alcohol use.

If your alcoholic is willing to allow you go with him to the appointment and talk with the doctor.

    1. Refuse to visit friends who drink with him

You may find it okay to visit with mutual friends but when you know they’ll be serving alcohol you can avoid the situation.

Don’t have friends who aren’t drinkers? You need to get some…soon!

    1. Stop all of the services you provide to make life easier for him

Do you do dishes, wash clothes, pick up after him? Well these things can become a luxury not an expectation.

If he comes to understand they happen when he doesn’t drink and they stop when he drinks. It may provide some motivation to quit.

    1. What intimacy?

Obviously, it’s difficult to want to be intimate when he’s drinking or drunk.
When you let him know it takes building an intimate setting to motivate you he may be convinced. Intimate setting and drunk on alcohol do not mix.

These are just a few thing you can do about your situation even though your alcoholic won’t tell you what’s the truth about his situation.


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