When Trust is Broken, How Do You Get it Back?

tell the truth

So, you don’t trust your alcoholic husband anymore.

That may be hard to accept because your relationship was based on trust.

Well…you’re not alone.

Many women are tired of the lies, dishonesty and deception that go along with alcoholism. You have every right to feel betrayed.

You haven’t done anything wrong. He’s the one who lost your trust.

He “Talks the Talk”, But Doesn’t “Walk the Walk”

Alcoholics are good at that. They tell you what they think you want to hear with no intention of following through. It’s like they have no conscience. Don’t you agree?

You may be at the point where you feel whenever he speaks it’s a lie. If he’s abusing alcohol he probably doesn’t tell the truth

I know from personal experience that I wouldn’t tell the truth to get someone off my back. If they confronted me about it, I’d make up another lie to cover the first one. Does that sound familiar?

Too Many Broken Promises

Alcoholics have good intentions. But often don’t honor commitments and promises.

You’ve probably been hurt in the past because of broken promises, but it’s the nature of the disease. Wouldn’t it be nice if he followed through on just one promise? You’d probably be in shock!

But that’s not the case. What he say’s he’s going to do isn’t what he does.

So, What Now?

Let me share with you what my wife did when I was in my addiction.

First, she called me on every lie. She didn’t “miss a beat.” If I lied she immediately brought it to my attention.

Then it got to the point where she didn’t even call me on it. Every time my mouth opened she put her hand up and walked away. She didn’t want to hear what came out of my mouth.

I wish I could say her actions stopped me from lying…but I can’t. I had lost her trust. She didn’t give me a chance to earn it back.

I’ve been sober now for over 10 years and understand the importance of earning trust and striving for integrity.

Maybe it’s time to do what my wife did…when he lies, hold your hand up and walk away.

Did you notice the bold faced word above? Trust is earned, not given. And to earn your trust back he needs to talk the talk… and walk the walk.

If he recognizes how his dishonesty has pushed you away, maybe he’ll get honest with himself.

And until he gets honest with himself…I’m sorry to say…you can expect more lies.

When trust is broken it can be repaired.

But it starts with him.


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