Shocking Truth About Alcoholic Lies

woman-shocked

Do you remember when you caught one of your children in a fib?
They would twist the words just a little to make their innocence seem more likely.
When all was said and done there WAS an element of truth in the lie.

Alcoholic’s lying honesty

When your alcoholic says (s)he can quit any time they want, there is an element of truth in the statement.

(S)he wants to drink for the expected buzz. So there’s no desire to quite right now.

The truth however is there may not be the ability to quit especially where physical dependence comes in to play.

Withdrawal may start to play a bigger factor in why your alcoholic uses than simply the desire to drink.

When your alcoholic says I need a drink it may actually be more the truth than not.

This is one of the reasons when your alcoholic decides to get serious and quit (s)he may need to go through a detoxification program to safely get free from alcohol.

Uninhibited distortions

Your alcoholic may actually believe (s)he dances, thinks or socializes better with a few drinks.

I would challenge you to make an observation the next time (s)he’s on the way to oblivion. See how voices get louder, conversation becomes less rational, mundane points become hugh issues and dancing become more and more out of control.

With alcohol your alcoholic cannot do better uninhibited because the brain becomes impaired. Perception is distorted. What seems acceptable and normal is often over the limit of tolerable. The sad thing is your alcoholic truly doesn’t realize this.

Blackouts are real

One of the signs of alcohol dependence is when lapses of memory occur following episodes of alcohol consumption. This is simply called a black out.

Research evidence suggests to us the events during a blackout are not able to be reconstructed even under hypnosis. They simply aren’t there.

So when your alcoholic tells you they remember to a specific point but after that they don’t know, it really is true.

I’ve known of alcoholics who actually went out into their garage to check the car in order to make sure they didn’t hit someone.

Para-logical thinking

Your alcoholic’s need to use is probably the strongest factor in continued impairment of thinking even when they are not high on booze.

Para-logical thinking is best describes as thinking that makes total sense to the one thinking it, but rarely makes sense to the one hearing it.

Let me give you an example.

Your alcoholic gets paid and realizes (s)he’s short $100 in order to pay the rent. This leads to becoming a bit down or depressed. Thoughts moves to “let’s have a drink”. This leads to less money available for rent and so your alcoholic might as well just drink up the rest.

As you can see the need or desire to use factors into each part of the though process and results in conclusions to support alcoholic behavior.

Impaired judgment is real

When your alcoholic is intoxicated judgement is impaired.

It’s possible you may not be able to detect when your alcoholic is beyond the point of making a good decision. Often it’s possible for behaviors to look like they are under control when they in fact are not.

When statements are made while under the influence they are not likely intended the way they come across. They may be contradictory to what your alcoholic said while sober. Is this a lie or is it impaired judgement?

I’ve worked with enough alcoholics to know they say things they don’t intend when intoxicated. In fact, they say things they would NEVER say if they were sober.

The advantage humans have is our ability to have inhibitions to check our behaviors. With alcohol, that wonderful blessing becomes quite a curse.

Impaired judgment includes decisions made under the influence. I know of a person who sold a very expensive motorcycle for a few hundred dollars so he could continue to drink. When he sobered up he was totally distraught. Another married a lady only to sober up the next day asking who the person was he was with.

I’m not sure it’s fair to suggest these lapses in judgment are dishonest. They are certainly destructive and cause much pain to family and friends.

I hope you see some of the other side of what appears to be alcoholic lies and dishonesty. It’s important to recognize how trapped your alcoholic is in many of the behaviors that occur. This is also intended to empower you to be able to speak truth to your alcoholic. No doubt the most important thing you can do for them when they’re sober.

Let us know how you have recognized your alcoholic’s apparent lies in the comment section below.




 free_my_addict_store

Did this article help? Get more advice (it's Free)

Your Addicts First Name

Your Email Address


 

Here’s What 8 Other People Thought...

  1. kat

    When rod drinks he can quit for two weeks, then he finds excuses to go back at it, the problems arise after he sobers up he is grouchy and its worse in the winter, and yes worse when bills comes due or any kind of stress, ,if your a wife of an alchy it will cost you severely, they do not reason well, they do not keep on task well nor like to nor look forward to it, they seem drawn to child like play when another comes into scene, my first advice to any single woman is do NOT MARRY ANYONE WHO DRINKS, or just suffer, with it the rest of your life, i love my husband , he says he does not drink that much but the thing is, this he has slowed down, only because he has ended up on the floor, he buys a box of wine and drink two glasses a day you think that moderate well it would be had he not positioned his body with heavier stuff in the past , now just to glasses puts him in a toxic situations, i pray for him turned to God tried to even keep exp to where i told him we are broke he cannot buy it , it just does not stop, how much can you take be cause it never stops

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      Kat, your insight is very helpful. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Ross

    Sad but true…Theres got to be an easier way for them to be helped.Terrible disease and hurts everyone it touches…

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      When your alcoholic discovers the pain outweighs the perceived benefit of the alcohol he will quit. Generally not until then. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Irene

    Understanding alcoholic lies and greatly reduced judgement is one thing. Living with it is another. I think a few things are greatly simplified here. Alcoholics often ENJOY the ability to lie especially when they think they can get away with it. This is because they cannot love themselves or anyone else, not even their kids. I have heard this over and over again, from dry alcoholics. It’s virtually impossible to hold down a loving relationship, as all the basics like love, trust, mutual respect get lost. The hurt, the mental emotional, financial, physical, and even sexual abuse are depriving the non drinking partner of some of the most valuable things in life. Even if they find a life for themselves next to their alcoholic, without losing themselves, they are deprived of those things human beingslong and live for. It’s too easy to say the poor alcoholic is gravely ill and needs their partner to help, support, understand etc. There is an element of personal choice in the situation for the alcoholic. There is the same for their partner. To leave and start again and heal. Or to stay and live a life without intimacy, trust, love, mutual respect, mutual support etc. I love my alcoholic with all the fibres of my being but I chose the latter. He had crossed the line to be an alcoholic a decade earlier, and remains to this day in strong denial about it. There is no hope in him realising he’s got to stop. He has it black on white from doctors, from two ex partners, lost his kids, job, financial security, all friends, his inheritance due to alienating his family. I made my choice and its heartbreaking but an easy choice to make in a story like this. Not all alcoholics ever wake up to smell the coffee, but remain functional enough to drink to their end or into insanity. I did not want to stand by and watch it. I did not make him drink but he CHOOSES to continue.

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      Irene, I hope you understand it’s impossible to get into the depth in a 500-700 word article. I hope you know we at FreeMyAddict empathize with each person who is involved with addiction. In my experience of work with addicts and their families (over 30 years) there’s never a simple answer or a simple solution. The decisions made to stay or leave is personal and NO judgment should be given regardless of the choice you make. The factors involved in the decision are significant and their importance varies person to person. I respect your choice and wish you well. I’ve seen alcoholics get well and I’ve seen them die in the alcohol. Thanks for your comments.

  4. Irene

    I should add that mine was a very informed choice, supported by doctors, counselling, the support I get from two networks designed to help alcoholics and their friends and family.
    What I regret is a distinct lack of reference to children and their suffering – often for the rest of their lives in such a family with alcoholism in it. Surely the healthy or rather non-drinking parents has a responsibility here to keep their children from such harm.

Leave a Comment

Talk With Someone