Stay Sane! 3 Ideas That Really Work For a Spouse of An Alcoholic

man in white coat

Hopefully you’ll get a “chuckle” out of this and it may seem a little extreme, but…

Don’t worry about the men in white coats. They’re not out to get you.

It’s not uncommon for the spouse of an alcoholic to feel like she’s going “insane.”

Rest assured you’re not.

We both know you’re the one that has it together.

In Alcoholics Anonymous they speak of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Maybe the only thing you do “over and over” is expect things will be different tomorrow, next week or next month. That’s not insanity. It’s called hope.

Realize it’s Not You. It’s Him

In AA they consider insane behavior as lying, cheating, laziness, and putting alcohol in front of work, family and especially relationships. That’s what alcoholics do.

He probably thinks he’s in control because he drinks beer and not hard liquor, or only drinks on weekends.

That’s a recipe for disaster. It just doesn’t work.

So he’ll try something different and get the same results.

How You Can Keep it Together

As the spouse of an alcoholic your priorities may be to maintain some sort of balance in your family and relationship. Chances are you keep the marriage and household together.

Unfortunately, even your best efforts won’t make a difference with an alcoholic. He doesn’t even recognize what you do. He’s in his own little world…deep in a bottle of booze.

Don’t let his irrational behavior effect your decisions.

Even if you make a mistake (you’re human) it’s probably the right decisions you do make that maintain what sanity there is in your home.

Stand Strong in what You Believe

You know better than to let him blame you and use guilt trips. Especially when his mind is clouded in alcohol, and he thinks he’s knows what he’s talking about.

We both know how alcoholics talk in circles.

Recovered alcoholics understand the importance of honesty and admit their “best thinking got them to AA meetings.”

How has his best thinking worked for him?

As long as he continues to drink he’ll say irrational things and make impulsive choices. Again, that’s what alcoholics do.

Don’t worry about the guys in the white coats coming to get you.

The sad thing is…

if he continues to drink, they may come for him.

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Here’s What 2 Other People Thought...

  1. jon curtis

    Why do you refer to the alcoholic in this article as a man? What about the men that have wifes for alcoholic’s ? A fool wrote this article no help at all I feel insulated as a man.

    • FreeMyAddict Coach

      Jon, We appreciate your comment. Even though there are many people just like you who have a wife who is addicted or alcoholic, the majority of people who visit our site are women who struggle with their husbands. This in no way diminishes what you go through with your wife. If you substitute wife for husband in the articles we think they can help a lot. We would love to have you help us recognize differences you may experience from what the women find to be true. Thanks again for your comment.

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