3 Ways To Improve Self Esteem


Do you remember looking into the fun mirrors at a carnival?

What you saw was someone tall and thin or short and fat.

I don’t need to tell you these images aren’t YOU.

In fact, the image in your mind is a key into what happens with self esteem.

Esteem isn’t constant

Self esteem is the way you value who you believe you are at any moment in time.

When you make a poor choice and realize it, you may feel down on yourself.

If you keep rehearsing the choice it may end up that you believe the choice was the best reflection of who you are.

Your self esteem is then impacted.

Most choices aren’t consequential. They still effect your self esteem.

Low or high esteem’s up to you

It does take effort on your part to discover what’s important to you.

In other words, what do you value?

Once you understand what’s important to you it’s then up to you whether you live up to them or not.

If you fall short of your values your esteem suffers.

However, when your choices begin to reflect the values you hold your self esteem will natrually go up.

Notice I’ve not said your alcoholic has anything to do with your self esteem.

That’s because it really is up to you to decide what’s important and for you to decide what you’ll do to live up your expectations.

Improve your self esteem

Regardless of your situation, when you recognize how your alcoholic’s behavior effects your self esteem and do something about it, their influence on your esteem is diminished.

Here are a few things you can do to improve your self esteem:

  1. Roll with resistance

  2. There’s a lot of chaos when you’re involved with an alcoholic.

    They give you much grief. Your great ideas are met with arguing and conflict.

    This isn’t really about you, it’s about your alcoholic’s desire to continue using alcohol.

    Many times when the conflict arises you can simply listen to what is said and roll with the resistance.

    You really don’t have to get your point across to your alcoholic especially if he is half lit.

    I’m sure you’ve heard…

  3. Choose your battles

  4. It may be that MOST of the battles between you and your alcoholic don’t change much if anything.

    Are they really worth it?

    Some battles, if you choose to fight them become impossible. You actually lose more than you gain.

    When you decide to NOT enter the battle because you realize there’s no way to win, you’re so much closer to finding peace of mind.

    I like to consider does this battle need to be fought today or can it wait until tomorrow.

    If it can, you know where it needs to go.

    This is a step toward being able to let it go.

    You may find rolling with resistance works much better than engaging in conflict.

    More positive outcomes helps improve self esteem.

  5. Accept that you’re worth it

  6. When you contemplate your values I like to see the additional statement placed on the value.

    Let me give you an few examples.

    I value my friendships, because I’m worth having friends.

    I’m worth being trusted with a secret because I value keeping a trust.

    You can take this example and apply it to each of your values and see just how much better your esteem does as you come to believe…
    You’re worth it!

    What have you done to improve your self esteem. Let us know in the comment section below.


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Here’s What 6 Other People Thought...

  1. robin

    I took a step back and started looking from the outside in .reliving a battle after the fact was a harsh mentor but getting ahead of it took effort but here finally the “not going there” finally kicked in and getting him to save it for another time worked a miracle considering he forgot inside ten minutes what he wanted to fuss about…. at length I have to be very tired and exhausted and just not feeling well to get suckered into a fight of any sort these days. thanks and you asked robin

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      Great advice. That’s a technique that works most every time. It takes self control to not get ‘sucked in’, but once you learn it’s benefits… You’re on the way! Thanks, Robin

  2. KAT

    I love this article WOW , i MISSED THIS ONE BUT ITS HOW I HAVE FELT !, Rods torment when he drank was always directed at me he made me feel i was the bad guy, i was the fault to all his problems, of course they attack the one they love, they don;t do it to anyone else, i took the blunt , but when i finally found my self esteem and stood my ground , i became a new woman it scared him , he now sees i will not put up with it, oh i don’t threaten with the word divorce, its a bad decease too and will not goaway, and threats do not help only drive fear, the real problem is to try to get them to see who you are and how they will not effect your life , be the good woman, be pretty , get some new cloth even if its from good will, come one ladies find yourself, if he wants to be a mess then let him, but love him, when he says to you you you you , tell him he has a problem and your praying for him,if he says you doing this and that return with, and who is the group that decided this or is this totally your opinion, remember their opinion is based on his observational from the drink i call the poison,lol
    ladies when dealing with your drunk, when hes drunk to not get into argumentation, he will not remember it, leave go some where for a walk or short drive, or maybe ask someone over , allot of times a drunk will not act out his problems in front of someone else and it gives you support , I am lucky not to be in extremes with a really fallen down drunk, but i do remember when my dad would beat my mom after he went out on a drunkard stupor, my mother lived in fear for years because it was years before the law stepped in , the drink is an illness, it is a disease, would you put rat poison in your child’s food, or anyone, no but , if they chose to do it, you cannot control them , they will hold you at blame, so find a new you, pray,

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      Well stated. Thanks Kat.

  3. Roll with punches can be ok but there comes a point were we have to make sure we aren’t passively enabling the addict. I certainly see the point how realizing you can’t win the argument so you don’t get into is can be valuable advice.

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      Your point is well taken. When you live with an addict probably the most important thing to be aware of is when our behavior is enabling the behavior of the addict. Thanks for your comment.

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