If You’re The Spouse of An Addict, Don’t Make These Mistakes…

holding beer can

I never lived with an addicted spouse.

I used to be one!

My wife lost all her trust in me and always questioned where I was.

She had to constantly monitor our checking and saving accounts while living in fear of what was waiting for her when she walked into the house.

If I wasn’t drinking, I was passed out. All the responsibilities of the house fell on her shoulders.

She told me to get some help, but I didn’t want to hear it.

Can you relate to what I put my wife through?

You can’t change your husband addict. It’s his responsibility.

Pain is a great motivator to change. Once your spouse’s pain exceeds the pleasure (of drinking or drugging) they may decide to get help.

Three things my wife did that I recommend if you’re the spouse of an addict.

  • Stop Enabling
    If you’re doing things for you’re addict husband he should be doing for himself… stop. Don’t make excuses for his behavior. Don’t take on his responsibilities.
  • Show Tough Love
    Why should your spouse change when they have a roof over their head, a bed to sleep on, and food on the table? Let them find their own place. They can spend their time living on the streets with other homeless men or women. Imagine the peace you’d have if he wasn’t in the house.
  • Be Good to Yourself
    All your attention has been on maintaining some sort of peace in your home, and it hasn’t worked because of your spouse’s addiction. You’ve avoided doing things you enjoy and now’s the time to do it.

My wife did it and followed through.

At the time, I can’t say I was too happy about it. But, today I don’t blame her for anything she did.

She needed to take care of herself.

Sure, I was homeless and lived on the streets, but she enjoyed her new life in a home she was comfortable in.

She quit enabling me, showed tough love, and was good to herself.

It took me a few years to hit bottom and sober up. But, I’m not sure if I would’ve even done that if she hadn’t put her foot down.

You can’t change your husband addict.

You can only change you!

Trust me, I know.

If you’d liked to read more about Tom’s story, click here. And as always, if you liked this article you can share it on twitter or sign up below for free updates.


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Here’s What 2 Other People Thought...

  1. Thank you for this info. I ask my husband to leave 2 weeks ago. He is living in his truck.. It’s so hard on me thinking that he is living that way. But I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was watching him kill himself through his addiction. Thank you

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      Living in his truck is a consequence of his addiction to alcohol. When you chose to confront him and set a boundary he made a choice. If rehab had been the choice he might not be living in his truck. Don’t take on the responsibility for HIS choices. Leave them with him. Thanks for your comment.

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