How to Make Yourself Irresistible to Your Alcoholic


Where’s the flame? Has the fire in the relationship all but gone out? What can you do to make yourself irresistible to even your alcoholic.

I’m sure there are times you don’t want him near you…like when he’s drunk. It’s really nice to know you’re irresistible even if your alcoholic doesn’t recognize it.

Have your thoughts gone to ‘if only’ ideas? If only, you did something different or were better for your alcoholic. Before we get into this article let’s be clear; there’s absolutely no responsibility on your part for your alcoholics drinking.There is nothing you do to make him drink or act the way he does. It’s simply not you’re fault he uses.

These suggestions are to help you be your best regardless of what your alcoholic chooses to do.

The benefit?

You’ll feel better! Let’s get started…


You may know that ‘walk on eggshells’ feeling all too well.

Take a few minutes and think. What would it be like if you were totally who you want to be?

What would it look like? Then the next question you have to ask is what would it take to make it happen?

My suggestion is for you to embark on the journey to be yourself. No more behaviors simply because you’re involved with an alcoholic.

Take 5 minutes a day and ask yourself. What do ‘I’ want for my life? Let it be a true expression of your values, hopes and dreams.

Be Passionate, But Not to the Extreme

When you are passionate it’s very attractive. It means you care. The fact that you care about things helps others to become interested, too.

You must be careful with your passion because you can become blinded by it and go overboard.

Let me give you an example. You can be passionate about your collection of handmade dolls. There comes a point when there isn’t any more room and what started as a passion becomes a nightmare.

Passion about many things where you can show your values, concerns and interests without going to extremes is a very admirable quality for anyone to possess.

Be Down to Earth

This quality isn’t always easy for someone who lives with an alcoholic.

Hurts often draw a person inward. When this happens it’s often interpreted as ‘aloof’.

If this happens to you my suggestion is to allow your family and friends to see how you are practical.

Find one or two things you share in common with friends and talk about them. This will help you to
connect with your ‘down to earth’ side.

Show Your Sense of Humor

You’ve heard it said “laughter is the best medicine”.

Well, I’d like to add to that a little. Laughter is often the glue that holds relationships together.

Use humor to laugh at tough things in life.

Let me give you an example. You come out of the store, slip on a banana peel. Your groceries go up in the air and the wonderful custard pie comes down on your face.

To you it’s not funny. To the crowd gathered it’s hilarious.

When you can take the crowd’s perspective on life humor really helps make times better.

Develop an Eye for Fashion

There’s nothing better to perk you up that a stylish makeover.

The feel of a fashionable hairdo and a new outfit,what could be better?

Even when money is tight, there’s no harm in a glance through magazines to see what you want to do for yourself.

Be Friendly

An interesting quality that’s simply irresistible is when you are friendly and have a number of friends.

It’s not important to have fifty or a hundred friends. The fact you have more than just your alcoholic is a big plus.

These friends can be a great resource and they also are a diversion from what you face each day.

Be Healthy…Not Obsessive

Last, but not least is how you take care of your health.

Eat healthy, exercise and take care of yourself matters to others.

When you take it seriously to eat well it’s very attractive to others…in fact they may become jealous.

An important point is to remember it’s okay, even when you eat healthy to treat yourself now and then.

You need also to remember others aren’t always on the same page when it comes to their own health.

Find a balance where you feel good about yourself and respect others for their decisions.

These suggestions are things for you to do in your effort to feel good about yourself and to help become irresistible to your alcoholic.

We’d love to hear what you’ve done for yourself lately. Please comment below.


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Here’s What 6 Other People Thought...

  1. Darcy

    My addict has been in a year long rehab program for just over six weeks now. I have done several things for myself that are healthy and have been needed for a long time. I am not sure if it would make me irrestistable to Curt or if I even want to be. In fact my struggles over the past year or so to start taking care of myself and my health has had the opposite effect on Curt. He was and likely still is very threatened by my moving focus away from him and concentrating on my own life. I got myself a laptop and printer to work on my writing and an article I want to get published. I got a new bike as Curt wrecked the one I had last year. AND I spent a day at a spa and beauty salon getting the works done. I am also getting in shape and have been taking the time on my hair and make up to look really good. I get plenty of compliments from others but Curt seems to either ignore the changes or appears to be threatened by them. He never asks how I am doing or seems interested in me or my plans for moving forward in life. I don’t know if that will ever change but I am not doing it for him or to be irresistable to him. I used to be very irresistance to my addict; just one of his many addictions and only important to him when he was afraid he would be cut of and not have access to me. So I do all these positive things for me. I think I need to file for divorce and move forward. I do not want to be married to someone who uses or misuses his freewill to make unhealthy choices that destroy his life and my life.

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      He’s in rehab! You’re doing so many things well. I think the irresistible will be there maybe your addict will just have to catch up.

      • Michelle

        I have to say Darcy’s response was a very positive way to view this article and I congratulate her on refocusing her priorities on herself. The articles you post have always been things I take seriously but this one really gave me pause. It’s TOTALLY off point. “How to Make Yourself Irresistible To Your Addict” my *&#! This is NOT the right mind set. You don’t have to make anymore concessions for your addict. If you do they’ll continue to destroy your life. The only way to be attractive to an addict is to be an enabler. Those are the ONLY kind of people they are attracted to having in their life and that will not change until they’ve accepted responsibility for their actions, their illness and their recovery. The only thing any of us non-addict outside supporters should be thinking of is making ourselves safe, healthy and strong in order to help ourselves heal from being held hostage and abused for so long. Enough is enough. This article is convoluted and misguided. It should be directed toward the recovering addicts: “How To Make Yourself More Attractive To The Spouse/Loved One’s You Hurt in Order to Rebuild The Relationships You Ruined- IF They Still Want You.” That’s a MUCH better title.

      • FreeMyAddict Team

        You may have a point with your title suggestion but it’s a little TOO long. Thanks for your comment.

  2. lynda

    Positive thinking, well done. Sadly for me, I just lose the plot when Mark is drunk, he is jekall and hyde and I am wishing bad things will happen to him just to get him out of my life Lyn x

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      I’m sure you’ll do what’s right for you. When he Jekyll’s out on you even your instincts say that’s not okay. Take care of yourself… Let him take care of his issues.

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