How To Let Go: What Every Alcoholic’s Spouse Should Know

hands in sky

Does your alcoholic husband have you at your “wits end?”

Are you ready to try something different?

I’ve found some very significant things in the 12 step program that may help… especially Step 3.

I know your husband’s the one who should focus on this step, but quite frankly, it can be applied to anyone, even if they’re not an alcoholic..

It say’s…

“Made the decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understand him.”

It’s important to have a “power greater than ourselves” to help us get through things we can’t control.

Regardless of your belief systems, it’s okay to let the future of your alcoholic husband be determined by your Higher Power.

It’s Okay to Feel Powerless

There may have been times of brief sobriety, but soon it was back to the rollercoaster ride which involves chaos and drama.

Do you feel like you’ve wasted time and energy trying to get him sober?

You’ve probably talked to your husband about his alcoholism and suggested he get help. Many of your attempts may have been unsuccessful because you relied on his decision making.

Alcoholics often relapse. This is one of the primary reasons you need a Higher Power you can count on.

To admit powerlessness over his alcoholic behavior is hard to do, but it needs to be done.

A Miracle Can Happen

You’ve probably witnessed something happen and considered it a miracle. I’m sure when you think of your past there’ll be times when your Higher Power was involved in your life.

If you’ve admitted you can’t change him, why not trust your Higher Power and see if He can perform miracles in your husband’s life.

Finally, Let Go

Turning him over to God may give you a sense of relief. You’ve taken the problem (your alcoholic husband) off you, and given him to God.

Now that you have him where he belongs, what about you?

Why not do the same thing for the issues you feel are out of control or the circumstances you have no answers too.

You can get strength with Step 3 by going to al-anon meetings, and also strengthen your faith and by participate on a regular basis with people who believe the same as you.

If you’re overwhelmed and feel powerless, as they always say “Let Go and Let God.”

Let us know in the comments how your Higher Power has helped you in your situation.

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Here’s What 6 Other People Thought...

  1. Lorri

    Very good article. I have a strong believe in the higher power and praying a lot and trying to let go because you are right I have no control over my husbands alcoholism. Thanks for the great article.

    • Tom

      Lorri,
      Yea…isn’t it amazing how a “load is lifted off our shoulders” when we admit we can’t do anything and give it to God? I feel if anyone is searching for “hope” regarding a loved one’s addiction they should give it a try!

  2. Theresa

    It is true that there are situations in our lives that are beyond our ability and we can take them to the Lord in prayer. Prayers helps us to have hope in hopeless situations and empowers us with strength each day. It is a way of seeking God`s strength, direction and will. Sometimes we get discouraged when God`s timimg does not coincide with our own, at these moments we should “Let go” like you said and “Let God” He is a miracle working God. There is nothing too hard for Him and nothing impossible for Him if we only believe that our partners one day will be set free from alcohol or any other addictions

    • Tom

      Thanks Theresa…you said it well. I could relate to your comment about getting “discouraged when God’s timing doesn’t coincide with our own.” A very wise man told me when in early recovery that “God doesn’t always come when we want him too…but he always comes ON TIME!” I’ve also found that when we give something to God, and nothing happens…it’s easy for me to “take it back.” Then I have a choice to make. Keep holding on to it…or give it back to God again. I’ve found “giving it back” is the best thing to do.

  3. Mylinda

    I just read a few lines and feeling hopeful. This weekend was not good for us, we were in a fight after a few drinks and several hours had passed. I am at my wits end.

    • Tom

      That’s great you feel hopeful. Maybe some of the other articles on our site can add to that hope.
      Your not alone being at your “wits end.” Many others have been there and when they start focusing on what
      they need to do for themselves…instead of putting so much energy on him…well, they get a different outlook on what’s happening in their life. I suggest you keep the hope…and focus on YOU!

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