How to Get Rid of Worries About Your Alcoholic


Years ago when I was the clergy for a small congregation an adolescent got off the school bus and ran to our home with heart wrenching sobs.

“She’s dead, she’s dead”. Immediately the concern was someone in her family had died.

The truth was she’d watched a few minutes of a soap opera and one of the actress’ she liked on the program died. Her contract was apparently up. No real death at all.

Isn’t it amazing how you can take on situations where you have no need to be involved?

Let me make it clear. There are legitimate concerns you have with your alcoholic. The issue is whether worry actually helps the situation or only makes it worse for you.

Here are some ideas to help you rid yourself of the worry.

Let go of the past

A place where worry has a heyday is in the past.

You can spend a lifetime in efforts to change the past.

I’m sure by now you realize it’s won’t change.

That doesn’t mean you have to be crippled by what has happened in the past.

It simply means it’s over.

There’s nothing you can do to change the past or make it go away.

It just is.

When you experience emotional pain from events from the past it’s good to work them through, but worry doesn’t do any work.

It’s like marching in one spot when you’re trying to go somewhere.

Refuse to live in the future

I think everyone who’s experienced life with an alcoholic spends some time in thought about what it would be like if…

The problem with this future oriented thinking is it’s not real and may not ever be.

There’s always a need to plan for the future. The difference is based on what you can do about the future today.

Let me give you an example. You decide it would be nice to take a trip to Hawaii.

Wish all you want, it won’t get you to Hawaii. There are things you can do. Save money, make plans, buy airline tickets, book a hotel or rent a car. These are all done in TODAY not the future.

When you worry about the future it’s takes away from today and handicaps you from the accomplishment you want to achieve.

Make the best of today

I like the adage ‘today is the first day of the rest of your life’.

Each day has it’s own challenges and plenty to face.

When you live in today there are decisions you can make to make a difference in how things will go for you and your alcoholic.

Think of it this way and try this exercise. Make three boxes marked ‘Past’, ‘Present’ and ‘Future”.

Write down what you worry about. Place them in the appropriate box. You can keep these boxes around to put your worries in.

Once a week after you’ve put your worries away. Try this.

Leave the PAST box alone, it’s over.

Sort through the future notes and decide if there’s anything you can do about any of them TODAY. If not put them back.

Then it’s time to look at the PRESENT. Take them out and put them in three piles.

  1. Those that require a decision
  2. Those that have already been resolved, and
  3. Those that will take care of themselves.

Obviously the ones that have resolved on there own can be ignored and those likely to resolve on their own go back into the box. The ones left need you to make a decision. Take time to prioritize your choices and decide.

This will limit or get rid of your worry. Give it a try.

In what ways have you been able to let go of your worries. Let us know in the comment section below.


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