How to Be Successful Even If Your Alcoholic Doesn’t Change


By now you probably understand you can’t make your alcoholic quit drinking.

What do you do with your hopes and dreams?

Are you just supposed to give them all up because your alcoholic’s drunk?

No…here are a few ideas to move you toward success.

Don’t depend on others

If you make your dreams or hopes dependent on someone else you must have their cooperation to accomplish it.

This is really difficult with your alcoholic.

Regardless of your goal when you depend on someone who’s not likely to follow through you’re going to be let down.

You need to make some goals for yourself. Ones you can accomplish whether your alcoholic works with you or not.

An example might be to learn a new skill. You can take a class, hire a tutor or spend time in the library or online.

The new skill may just help you feel a little more secure because you know you can acomplish anything when you set your mind to it.

Be sure and be reasonable…

Set achievable goals

I used to give a motivational didactic about goal setting.

I would ask the group “how many want to be a millionaire”.

Many hands would go up.

I then would ask you many believe your will actually be a millionaire.

A few less hands would go up.

Then I asked the big question, “how many of you are on track to become a millionaire.

Almost no hands would go up.

We then looked at examples of what would have to be done to accomplish such a goal.

The purpose of this exercise is to realize a goal needs to be practical.

Then they must be broken down into the essential part needed to be accomplished.

You really can reach any goal if you break it down into small workable pieces.

I like to think how NASA made it to the moon when they didn’t have anything but the goal established by then President John F Kennedy.

The engineers broke the task into parts and teams of talented people worked on it until they succeeded.

Be reasonable

You might try to set your goal to have a happy life with your alcoholic or you want him in recovery. Those are great goals but you aren’t the only one who it depends on.

Why not a goal like “I want to do one thing a week toward my own happiness.

You can see how the later goal is reasonable while the other isn’t.

Try to set you goal to be something you can do within a specific time period.

Let’s say you want to finish your degree. Well, you can calculate how many classes you’ll need, factor in the cost and whatever classes you might need just to get back in the swing of studying.

You then can have a reasonable goal.

I don’t know if your anything like me, but sometimes I like to take on a goal and expect a lot of myself in a short period of time.

I’ve learned over time to give have the expectation and twice the time. It generally works quite well.

Work on it every day

Regardless whether your goal is big or small my recommendation is to do something on it everyday.

If you want to take weekends off, fine.

The routine of daily focus is a good thing to develp. You’ll be happy about it in the long run.

When you’re on a roll keep up the good work, but don’t burn yourself out either.

Many successes are more about persistence than talent.

Don’t quit

Success may be hard to accomplish at times.

People around you may not be your best cheerleaders.

Some family or friends in the back of their minds don’t want you to succeed.

They may even sabatoge you in your efforts.

Develop a group of people you can share with who will encourage you.

The biggest thing is don’t quit.

Your effort will be rewarded with success.

What are some of the successes you’ve achieved? Share them with us in the comment section below.


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