How the Wife of an Alcoholic Got Her Life Back… And You Can Too

pelican on a pole

Recently, I was down on a Beach in Florida and a pelican caught my eye as it hovered over the water.

It dove down and made a huge splash then disappeared. I thought…Man! That must have hurt!

Seconds later it came up with a fish danglin’ from its mouth and flew away.

Seeing that made me think… that’s how it feels when your faced with the truth.

It hurts!

But if you dive deep and push through, you’ll be rewarded.

My friend’s a perfect example

My friend was the wife of an alcoholic and she constantly tried to change him.

She gave all the love and support she could. But there’s one thing she couldn’t do, make his choices for him.

His unwillingness to change made her miserable.

She ignored all the things she used to enjoy in life.

Then finally, she realized that happiness was her own responsibility.

I asked her to describe how she felt in one word. She said “I’m frustrated. No! I’m beyond frustration!”

It was time for her to make some painful choices.

  • Accept the fact that alcohol is more important to her husband than their relationship.
  • Refuse to enable and allow him to suffer the consequences for his own behavior.
  • Don’t fall for his guilt trips.
  • Quit being a “doormat” and let him walk all over her.
  • Do what she needs to do for herself.

Those choices we’re going to hurt. But she knew if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be happy.

Set boundaries and follow through on consequences

His choice is alcohol.

Your choice is happiness.

When you’re dealing with an alcoholic you need to start by being kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the respect and admiration you deserve.

My friend made the choice to set boundaries with her alcoholic husband. Then, she told him what the consequences would be if he decided to cross those boundaries.

She followed through on the consequences (which he thought were only threats).

And now today they’re seperated, but my friend couldn’t be more happy.

She’s not afraid to come home anymore and has a great relationship with her children. They’re happy because she’s happy.

She lunches with friends and they have “girl’s night out.” They even plan to take a cruise together.

She’s being good to herself and enjoying life.

Her alcoholic husband on the other hand is now faced with the choice to suffer or get help.

He made the choice to not change.

She did.

It’s time for you to make those difficult choices. Be responsible for your own happiness.

Be good to yourself.

At the very least, find a cozy spot on a beach to relax and watch some pelicans!

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