Finding Thanks in Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Turkey

Let me say…

Holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year.

The expectations around the family can be extreme and relentless. How can you ever meet the demand?

When you add into the mix addicts who haven’t come to accept the fact and the extended family… there’s enough stress to last all year.

There are three things you can do to make this time be full of thanks.

First you have to…

Set Reasonable Expectations

You want to be loved and appreciated so you expect certain things to happen.

It doesn’t happen and you get hurt.

Even when you tell yourself not to expect anything at all, it’s a holiday. Is it too much to expect a little love and affection on a day like this?

You’re asking the wrong question…

You need to ask “Is it REASONABLE to expect, based on my addict’s behavior, this or that.”

My suggestion is not for you to have NO expectations but rather think about the behaviors you’ve seen from him and do not expect beyond what you know to be true.

When you do this, it’ll be no surprise when he becomes boisterous or even obnoxious (you’ve probably seen it before).

If you do the same for family who will be visiting you may be amazed how much different your holiday will be.

Your satisfaction will actually increase when their behavior exceeds your expectation. If the behavior is only what you’ve seen and know. it’s exactly what you thought would happen.

This leaves you with a chance to do something different this year…

Let the Blessing of Life Be the Center of Thanksgiving Not the Addict

What blessings…

Did I forget we’re talking about being around an alcoholic?
Refuse to allow him to be the center of Thanksgiving…

I suggest you let the things you consider a blessing to be what your celebration is about this year.

Do you struggle to put some ideas together?

Here are a few to get you started:

  • Food, Clothing and Shelter
  • Friends who you can count on
  • Courage to meet everyday challenges
  • Faith to overcome them

These may seem basic and small but…

Small things mean a lot

This year why not take little things, a smile, a helpful hand or simply a positive memory that may be triggered by something said.

Taking these little moments with a thank you will change your holiday this year.

It’s a decision, in spite of how it may feel. Choose what you pay attention to this year.

What a difference it’ll make.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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