Alert: How To Deal With an Alcoholics Lies

stamped lies

Does he tell the truth?

Oh, that’s right…never mind. If his lips move you know it’s a lie. That’s what alcoholics do.

At AA meetings alcoholics describe what they were like before sobriety. They admit a life full of lies.

Have there been times you were convinced he was honest but it turned out to be another lie? And he wonders why you’ve lost trust!

Let’s pretend he’s being truthful.

You’re gonna need some proof…right?

Look at His Body

I know this might be hard to do because he hasn’t taken care of himself (lol)…but more importantly…notice his body language.

Here are a few signs that may indicate a lie:

  • He’ll face you and avoid eye contact and may even turn or walk away.
  • He touches his face, throat and mouth or scratches his nose or ear and there will be signs of nervousness because he knows what he’s about to say isn’t true.
  • He’ll unconsciously place objects between the two of you……like a foot stool, book or a glass. Or he’ll cross his arms or push the seat away. He wants to distance himself from you.

Okay…you’ve noticed some of these signs…but you’re still not sure if the words are the truth.

Try this little test

Ask him a simple question…maybe his name. Watch his eyes. If he’s being honest he’ll look straight at you.

Then ask him where he was Friday night (or any question that you need an answer too).

Again, watch his eyes. If he looks up and to the right he’s trying to recall where he was. If he looks up and to the left, he’s using his imagination to come up with a lie.

This is a process called Neuro Linguistics. You might want to look it up because there are a lot of good things to learn.

Be aware of your own eye movement when someone asks you a question. The same concept can apply when you confront him about his behavior.

Now that you have this skill you can confront him. Don’t let him know what you’re doing.

It’s a small step towards the truth because it’s harder to “pull the wool over your eyes.”

Until then…don’t give it much thought if his lips move.

His eye movement and body language should be enough to tell the truth.

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