7 Lies Your Alcoholic Tells You
I remember a time when a salesperson gave me a big line and guess what I took it.
The product didn’t perform the way I was told it would.
Did the salesperson stretch the truth, lead me to believe certain things or outright lie?
Whatever you call it, I felt like it was a lie.
When your alcoholic tells you some things he may really believe them.
It doesn’t make them true.
There’s no need to assign intention behind these lies. I don’t believe for a minute they mean them as lies.
Let’s look at them and find the truth.
I drink because of you
I hope you don’t get drawn into this one.
It’s always easier to blame someone else for drinking. If it’s not your fault then your alcoholic has to take responsibility.
You KNOW it’s not your fault, right?
Let me review how you can know for sure.
- You don’t force him to drink, do you?
- It’s a requirement that he drinks to have a relationship with you, right?
- He decides when if and when to drink
- He continues past when he should quit
- He continues to drink when you say stop
- How could it possibly be your fault?
I can quit any time I want
This one is interesting because there is often attempts at proof, like “Remember when I quit for three months?”
The problem with this is there’s always a return to drinking.
There’s no intention on the part of an alcoholic to quit FOREVER.
In recovery this issue is resolved and the idea of not drinking again is built as the only successful way to have a complete recovery.
I deserve a few beers, I work hard
This is one you may have bought into.
If your alcoholic works and brings home a paycheck it’s easy to think he’s entitled to a few beers.
Let me ask it another way…
Is he ever entitled to become abusive, obnoxious or violent?
Does he have an entitlement to totally ignore you and your needs?
Do you deserve better than what the ‘few drinks’ deliver?
I say YES!
Unfortunately, your alcoholic isn’t likely able to determine what behavior follows his drinking.
Even if you say, “he doesn’t get obnoxious or violent”. My question to you is “are you content with the person he becomes after his few”?
I don’t need help
I don’t know about you but it’s pretty hard to ask for help.
Regardless of the situation to ask for help means you apparently ‘lack’ something.
In the case of your alcoholic it’s the need to have objective people with knowledge about addiction that makes a difference.
The important part here is very few people make it into recovery without help.
I only had a couple beers
This is a classic one. When I do an assessment on an alcoholic and they feed me this line I always ask, “would that be two 40oz?”
I know alcoholics may not intentionally tell you less(although I suspect they do not want you to know the truth).
I do know that even the evidence of empty bottles are not likely to tell the whole truth about how much is consumed.
Alcoholics do at times have blackouts and may not know how much they drink, but I am quite certain they know it wasn’t a couple.
I haven’t been drinking
When you hear this line it’s often followed by…HONEST.
Why? Because your alcoholic has undoubtable used it often enough when he was using to make the ‘honest’ statement necessary to lend any credibility to the statement.
You know when there is the smell of alcohol on his breath it’s not likely mouthwash.
Women were given this wonderful sense of smell unlike most men. I’m here to tell you they actually may not believe you smell it all over them, but you DO.
Trust your sense of smell.
Let me debunk this myth right now.
Thousands and thousands of recovering alcoholics don’t drink.
There are may who know the danger of becoming alcoholic who don’t drink
When the benefits of drinking are less than the pain it produces…your alcoholic will recognize not everyone drinks.
I take extra time when someone is trying to sell me something. I try to kick the tires.
Sometimes I still get less than expected. More times than not I get closer to the truth because I understand the ‘line’ or lie they try to tell me.
How about you? Are there other lines you’ve been told? Share in the comments below.