5 Ways To Cope With Your Alcoholic


It seems like stress is around everywhere.

No matter what you do there’s something right around the corner to stress you out.

Living with your alcoholic carries it’s own challenges.

Although there’s no way to remove all the stress, there are a few things you can do to cope.

Let’s clear one thing up right away.

Zero stress means your ‘DEAD’.

The goal isn’t to eliminate stress.

What you need to do is find healthy ways to cope with the stress in your life.

Recognize what stresses you

You might simply tell me “I know who stresses me, it’s my alcoholic.”
Even if it’s true, what I’d like you to look at is deeper.

Think about some of these things your alcoholic may stress you about.

  • Finances
  • Support with chores
  • Relationship
  • Intimacy
  • Truthfulness
  • Dependability


Most of these things you already know. So my question is, “If you already know these happen frequently, why are you still stressed by them?”

You need a plan to cope with each of them when they occur.

Learn what works for you

There’s not a prescription of advice that will be one size fits all.

You have to try different ways to cope. Eventually you’ll find something that works for you .

For some it might be getting lost is your favorite music, others may prefer to read or write.

The important thing here is to find what works for you and be prepared to do it when the stress happens.

Act vs react

This is a specific technique where you take time to think about what’s just happened.

During this time you examine what your options are and which choice is the best for you in the situation.

Then you choose it. This is choosing to ‘ACT’ not ‘REACT’.

You’ll be amazed how much you’re able to cope with when you are in charge of what you do.

Learn to relax

There’s so much chaos with all of the behaviors of your alcoholic.

I believe every family member needs to know how to relax.

If you don’t know a relaxation technique you need to put it on your list to learn.

One of the best for newcomers is deep muscle relaxation.

This is where you find a quiet place and begin with your extremeities and tense the muscles up for the count of 10 and release the tension slowly.

Your focus is on the feeling of the released tension.
This is followed throughout your body until you are totally relaxed.

Some of you will enjoy learning to meditate or learning yoga would be a benefit.

Others find comfort in prayer.

Regardless of how you choose to relax you need to make time to use your techniques regularly.


When you’re stressed there’s a tendency to breathe more shallow.

You may even find your breaths are more rapid the more you’re stressed.

Take time to slow down.

Learn to breathe slower with deep refreshing breaths of air.

This technique will not only help you let go of some of the stress it will help you be clearer in your thoughts and more ready to make good choices.

What ways have you learned to cope with your situation. Let us know in the comment section below.


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Here’s What 10 Other People Thought...

  1. David

    I have found that focusing on me has helped a lot. I do more things that I like plus I work more on the tasks that are important to me. I’ve been going out for more walks as well. When I say more, please bear in mind that I am not a busy beaver. There are days when I roam around the house from nap to nap and I generally sleep 10 hours a night. It’s a restless sleep but I’m in bed that long. But I am having less naps and more productive periods and they do help me feel calmer.

    The relaxation technique you describe sounds like it might help me sleep better at night. I’ve started a night time routine that includes reading so while I’m still in bed, I’m not just laying there brooding. Also, I like the act not react exercise in the article. I still have that tendendacy to get really dejected when I realize he’s getting really drunk. It’s one of the reasons I go to bed early. It’s silly really because he does it almost every day. I’m not sure why I think it’s going to ever be any different but I do. I have started analyzing those feelings when they occur but I’ve never taken the next step to switch up my response which is usually just to sit there. I think that is what I will work on for the next little while. For me, that seems to be a big part of the depressing cycle I’ve let myself fall into. Just sitting there night after night. Doing nothing is not relaxing at all.

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      The first step in change is always to recognize something needs to be changed. With this realization and a commitment to do something about it there’s no end to what you can make happen to improve your situation and/or how you deal with it.

    • Amber

      I understand what your going through completely. It sounds like you may be dealing with a little bit of depression, which I suffered for years with. My alcohoclic broke me though, I felt like I was in a downward spiral with depression. I would not get out of bed until I had to. I did very little, just enough to get by. We finally had a blowout and I was the one who almost went to jail, because of it. Not very fair, because it had been many years that I had put up with his drinking and I finally hit my boiling point. But when that incident happened, I decided that he was not going to rob me of my life and happiness, whether I chose to stay with him or not. Which I have chosen to stay with him. So I started off going to an anger management program that was for a full year, because I had so much anger built up inside, I had to address that first. Then, I started focusing on my physical health and made appointments to take care of myself, even if I had to make payments, I was committed to myself now. Once I got better, I started focusing on my children more, and created boundaries on their behalf pertaining to my husband. He is now no longer allowed to drink inside our house because I told him that our home is our children’s safe place to fall, and he was no longer going to take that away from them. If he has friends over drinking, the kids know that they’re not allowed to play outside around the daddy and his friends because I’ve learned that they have no filter and the kid’s don’t need to hear inappropriate language such as they had. For awhile, I beat myself up for allowing my kids to be in a bad environment, but I learned how to create boundaries, not only for myself, but for them too. Since then, there is a new understanding in our house, and it is that daddy has an illness and it’s called alcoholism, therefore we are hear to love him through it. We are team and we will not quit on him. It’s clear that he’s sick and I would never leave him. The only way I’d leave him would be if there was physical abuse, or ANY form of abuse towards our kids or if he cheated on me. In those circumstances, their would be bigger boundaries created, I am no longer a slave to his illness. Good luck and God Bless…..trust in yourself that you can do it!!!

      • FreeMyAddict Team

        Depression can be very debilitating. I’m glad you found your way through it. Thanks for your thoughts.

  2. Amber

    I have a lot of techniques, but one of my new favorites is something that was recommended by the Dr. Oz show. I bought a small size lavender scented inhaler that fits anywhere, including my pocket. There are several different components that make up the scent, but the point of it is that the brain is immediatly signaled to relax. I have been using it for about six months, and I have to admit that it really does work. I keep it in my purse, because you just never know when something will trigger us! If interested, go to the E-Scents Aromatherapy website.

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      Your recommendation is helpful. When you consider women are far more sensitive to smell than most men it only makes sense when certain combinations would evoke relaxation. Thanks.

  3. KAT

    There are a lot of ways but what upsets me the most is when I get caught up in his unrelenting arguing he love to pick a fight just to prove he’s right you can go on and on about the subject but still he has to prove he’s right even when there is no need to prove anything, he likes to hear himself get tough argue, moody when he gets like this I look right at him gently and say your trying to pick a fight and I am not going there, I go to the internet or book or laundry he knows I wan to be left alone and I am at peace really, he has all the steps you stated of trying to drive me into stress , I was already in the hospital for that two yrs ago they taught me a lot , lol so yes everyone, stress is this, when you find yourself wanting to cry over nothing, when you get so made for losing something, when you forget where you put something of importance and it eats at you, just count to ten close your eyes and breath and say thank you Jesus , let the spirit of God flow along with music and you’ll find yourself doing this at least 3 times weekly

    • FreeMyAddict Team

      When you let your alcoholic know you’re not going to fall for the trap of the argument he sets up I think you are doing a great step. You’re setting a boundary and when you consistently tend it you’ll find him using arguments less.

      • Kat


      • FreeMyAddict Team

        I’m so glad your family is benefiting from the site. Thanks.

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