5 Communication Secrets Every Alcoholic’s Spouse Should Know

couple arguing

He talks…you listen.

You talk… and he gets angry and interrupts.

Then what happens?

It turns into an argument… right?

If you’re tired of all the arguments, here are a few tips that’ll lead to better communication.

Pick a sober time

Try to talk to him after he wakes ups, preferably before he drinks. There’s always an opportunity… you just need to watch for it.

Be Assertive

Choose your words carefully and talk slow and precise. Look him straight in the eye when you express your concerns and expectations.

If he interrupts…don’t get angry (grit your teeth and take a deep breath) and calmly say, “you’ll get your chance to talk”.

Questions that can’t be answered with a “yes” or “no” work best.

You’ll want to start your sentences with who, what, where, when, why and how.

That way he’ll be more willing to open up.

Be an Active Listener

Pay close attention to his responses and if you need too, repeat what he says.

It’s a good idea to write down his responses. You may have to remind him of what he said, and use it “down the road” if he doesn’t follow through on commitments.

Keep Your Cool

He’ll probably want to argue but don’t go there…stay calm.

If he raises his voice, he wants a verbal “sparring match.” Don’t give him the opportunity. Simply say…

“I’m not going to argue. When you want to talk about this like adults, and not like children, let me know.” And then smile and walk away.

Have Patience Not Perfection

To establish communication with an alcoholic takes time and it’s important to look for opportunities when your voice can be heard.

Be encouraged even if only a small part of the conversation goes as you expected.

It takes time and effort on your part to get an alcoholic to open up.

There’s always hope for an alcoholic.

You’ll feel good about your efforts to communicate and in time he’ll come around.

And the next time you talk… he’ll start to listen.

Won’t that be nice?

If you thought these tips were helpful, click here to share this article on twitter. You never know… you might end up helping out another spouse of an alcoholic.


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