Healthy Boundaries With Your Alcoholic Spouse

set-boundaries

Posted June 11th by wendell - 2 Comments

Imagine for a moment your neighbor decided to toss his garbage into your yard.
What would you think?
How long would you put up with it.
One you made it clear the garbage didn’t belong to you or in your yard, what if it continued?
You might find you need to have a boundary you can monitor and maintain with your neighbor. Click to continue…

8 Ways Your Alcoholic Abuses The Marriage

Posted June 6th by wendell - 6 Comments

I’m sure you’ve heard about how if a frog is put into boiling water it’ll jump out. But if the frog is put into cold water and it’s brought up to boiling the frog boils to death. In some ways the ways your alcoholic abuses the marriage is like that frog with the water being brought up to boiling. Click to continue…

Bye Codependency, Save Your Marriage

Posted January 28th by wendell - 4 Comments

What’s the biggest fear in codependency?

Is it maybe your alcoholic will drink again? Probably not because you know it’s likely to happen.

Could it be that you’re needed and if your alcoholic quits maybe he or she won’t need you as much.

This one’s hard to admit if unless you really understand what all’s happening in and around your relationship.

I really believe the biggest fear in codependency is that you’ll lose the relationship with your alcoholic.

That fear drives most if not all of the decisions surrounding to stay or leave as well as most other day to day decisions. Click to continue…

3 Tips To Quit Rescuing

three-tips

Posted November 6th by wendell - 16 Comments

A phenomenon occurs when your alcoholic takes on the victim role.

There is a strong urge to respond by efforts to rescue.

The only problem is that usually this is followed by your alcoholic taking on the role of persecutor or worse…

You become viewed as the persecutor.

This is all a dysfunctional triangle.

There is hope. Click to continue…

3 Tips To Cope With Your Alcoholic’s Dishonesty

Posted October 20th by wendell - 6 Comments

There’s a little proverb that goes like this.

The person who has one clock knows the time even if it may be wrong. The person who has two clocks never knows the time even if one is correct.

No one likes to be deceived or feel somone has lied to them.

All to often when it comes to your alcoholic there may be an unintentional dishonesty.

It would be easy to label your alcoholic as a chronic liar but when you take into account the illness of alcoholism the discrepencies from the truth become a little more understandable.

Often untruth is offered to keep their supply of alcohol or preserve the opportunities to use, nothing more or less.

In any regard what you need to have in place is a functional way to cope with your alcoholic’s dishonestty. Click to continue…

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